Moist: to represent the rain, which must descend from the mighty heavens in order to nourish the plants, animals, and humans who inhabit this world.
Yeast: maker of bread, which feeds the hungry and thus fuels the minds, lives, and loves of billions.
Reblogged from dailyhangover :
He surely doesn’t
Fort worth, Texas 2017
Direct Action in front of the Panda Express
I heard Hank Hill’s voice while reading that.
Reblogged from punkbonnibel :
In This House We Think Blue Eyes White Dragon And Red Eye Black Dragon Should Date And Be Girlfriends
Reblogged from everythingissound17 :
a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid
bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both
Reblogged from humorrelated :
Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”
Reblogged from my-nameless-bliss :
pxtd:
i am 100% for women responding very rudely and aggressively to disgusting unsolicited messages or dick pics from men on the internet
i’m friends with a girl who got a random, unsolicited dick pic from a guy she didn’t even know in his mid-20s when she was only 17, so she took him to court and now he’s a registered sex offender
Boom

*IT’S Two POSTS IN One NIGHT SPECIAL*
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